Paradigm shift

Ya ya I know….the title of this article makes me sound like some pompous, self-obsessed management graduate who thinks he’s god’s gift to mankind. Well frankly the above description suits me perfectly!!!!......the only difference is that I’m not a management grad!!
Ok so since I’m not a management grad……why the title???.............well that’s because some of my recent observations have led to a paradigm shift in my thinking towards purchase of new vehicles in India. While going through this article I’m sure a lot of you will have a sense of deja-vu…..if yes …..Good…..if not I implore you to give it a thought. Alright then let’s proceed.
The other day I had gone with my mother to chembur to get the delivery of my mom’s new car from wasan motors. Well since it was a brand new car we decided to take it to siddhivanayak temple(a temple dedicated to the hindu deity, lord ganesha), which is located in prabhadevi. If I remember right it was a working day. Why I mention that is because the roads were awfully crowded. There were cars and traffic of all sorts everywhere for as far as the human eye could see. Since it was a brand new car it was but natural that I had to occupy the passenger seat and not the driver’s. As I already mentioned there was loads of traffic so I had a lot of time to observe and learn which my usual pastime in such situations is. I was checking out all the gizmos and goodies in mom’s new car when I happened to look at my mom’s face…….well she looked like the same person I called mom for 21 years of my life except for one difference….she had a god awful expression on her face……the expression was a mixture of anger, fright, frustration and pride. And the one feeling that was the most prominent was that of fright. Let me elaborate…………..fright, not the one which you see on the faces of protagonists of silly horror shows………….this one was pure and unadulterated…….she was scared that some asshole might scratch her brand new car. Tell me what’s the use of paying your hard earned money to buy a brand new car and not being able to fully enjoy it for one moment without having your heart in your mouth?
Purely from the POV of observation and deduction I started noticing the other cars on Indian roads. Over a period of time I made a startling discovery. Here are my findings.
8 out of ten cars on the road are either scratched or dented
1 out of every ten cars is probably very new, so it is driven very carefully (read at the speed of 40kmph in the middle of the middle lane…..which is plain idiotic if I may add!!)
1 out of every ten car is “premium”, Is maintained by the employer of the owner, and that’s the only reason its scratch less.
If any car in better than a reva were to be driven everyday only in Mumbai for 1 year, the car would almost never be put into top gear!!!

While you may argue with the precision of the above findings, they would still remain largely true.
So now the Mumbai lovers in you will shoot back and say…….we know all this so?......it’s very easy to point out mistakes but do you have a remedy?
Well thankfully I’m not Rajat Kapoor of India TV fame…..and I do have a suggestion. Let’s list the reasons for this congestion on the roads:
a. Too many people!!
b. Too many brainless kamikazes (read drivers)
c. Not enough infrastructure
d. These kamikazes have too much money….so they have 5 cars in a family of 3!
Alright so we can’t do anything in the first three issues…….but what do we have here!!! …..i do have a solution for the fourth one, and therein lies the paradigm shift……hurray!!!
Ok so let’s say you have a lot of money lying around …..so what do you do…….well of course you go and buy a new car….awesome!!.......my suggestion is ……….don’t!!.....see in any case your stupid arse is going to be bored of sitting in that car within a year …….so why can’t you buy a used car goddamit!!........use it for a year and dispose of it…….

Problems and solutions to this theory.

Problem 1: If no one buy’s new cars the industry will crumble
Solution: You dork!!.....if you plan to use the car for a good period ….say 5 years then buy a new one….or else don’t!
Also don’t buy cars older than 15 years, eventually the will get disposed of buy the govt.(hopefully)

Problem 2: I won’t get the car I want in the second hand market
Solution: Wake up and smell the coffee!! Within 15 days of coming to showrooms there are second hand cars of the same model available in the market. Also if you have to buy a older model so what . I for one wouldn’t mind a 2007 3 series to a 2009 3 series.

Problem 3: Second Hand cars have maintenance issues
Solution: Which planet are you living on….idiotica??........these problems come up in accident vehicles or used to come up in cars made during your Pappas time ….not anymore.
Problems 4: I like the smell of a new car
Solution: Smell my fart…….it smells better!!

So what will happen if you guys actually follow what im saying?
For starters it’ll get me a noble prize. Secondly I’ll get shot in my head by some hitman contracted by the car companies. More importantly it will reduce congestion on our roads…..eventually. infrastructure is improving but it needs time……the problem is that the amount of cars are going northwards so fast that infrastructure ain’t able to keep up. Come on guys give the govt. a chance!!......Look at it this way…..wouldn’t you prefer driving a corolla without traffic on the road to a accord in the 2nd gear…..it’ll save planet earth, save fuel…..reduce pollution………….god the advantages are endless……….
Man now I feel like a greenpeace dork…….

I have decided i will never buy a new car unless i plan to use it for atleast ten years. It will save me money and the frustration of having a brand new car scratched.
That will also help in reducing my hospital bills(hypertension u see....). See........so much money saved!!
THINK ABOUT IT.